Tomorrow I head back to school with my Dad since I won't be taking my car back to DeSales this semester. It's a long story, and the end result is sucky. But I'll survive. Anyway...
Christmas was really enjoyable this year despite the nice weather and bad economy. When I got home, I put up the ornaments my family left out for me, even though I had a feeling they decorated the whole tree and then pulled off a few just to appease me. The next few days were last minute shopping, meeting up with friends, and watching every possible Christmas movie with my sister. Christmas day was wonderful. We woke up at 8am, which is late for my family, and we exchanged and unwrapped our gifts. The main things I got were....
-Brown worn leather Lucky Brand bag
-Blackberry Curve
-Coach Bangle
-Gold "Elizabeth" necklace
-Gold horse shoe necklace
-Worn Lucky Brand clasp "Dreamer" bracelet
-Lucky hoops
-Lucky "Island music" charm bracelet
-book of poems by Sylvia Plath
-"Paint it Black"
-Wall-E
-Sex and the City
-Sleeping Beauty
-My brother's old Nintendo DS
and other things that I was very happy about but just can't remember at 2am...
The next few days were filled with family and laughter and Christmas cheer. And that's pretty much how the rest of the break went. Yesterday, the 10th, my family finally decided to take down all of our Christmas decorations. First came down the lights outside the house, then every santa, snowman, and wise man were taken from around the house and gathered onto our kitchen table. Our table is about 6x3 feet, and then entire table, including the benches, were covered with all of the decorations. And finally, we took down the tree. Emily sat on the couch and made fun of the ornaments Eddie had made in elementary school, while Eddie reminded her of how "gross and lonely" she looked in her ornament picture. My Mom and I just ignored them and dueted Elvis's rendition of "White Christmas". Mom sang the words while I did the "ba-doo, ba-doo, doot, doot, doot, doo-doot," things. It was sad to say the least. When we weren't singing, we talked about each ornament, even though we heard the stories year after year after year. My mom always asks me to do one last scan of the tree to make sure that we have everything, and for a few years now, I would make sure one glass ball would remain deep within the tree, where she wouldn't notice it. Maybe so that it always remains a Christmas tree, I don't know, but I just do it. I'm sure it falls when my Dad hauls it outside and takes it to the dump, but he has never mentioned anything.
And tomorrow, I will be back at school. Back at school without my Nat King Cole playlist on iTunes, without my fat, fluffy cat, but most importantly, without Jon. My friend Jon has finally been deployed to Qatar and I can't help but feel helpless. He told me not to worry and that he'll e-mail me, but I know that I will worry. And I know I will rather his voice than black type. We were laughing when we got off the phone, and after "Call Ended" blinked once, twice, then three times on the screen of my phone I felt it. I felt the walls of my heart falling in on each other as my lungs wretched for their next breath. I felt instantly exhausted, I did nothing. I didn't sigh, cry, collapse, anything. I simply sat on my bed waiting for my spine to straighten and for the moment when I didn't have to remind myself to breathe.
Be safe. I love you.
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