Always A Bridesmaid- The Good Life

I woke up at 12:30pm to my roommate throwing her bag on the ground. I then realized I had slept through all of my classes. My alarm didn't go off. I didn't hear any of my phone calls or texts to wake me up because my phone was on silent. So that was nice. At first I was worried, but then after, I didn't really care. So I slept in on this snow day.

It's getting to be that time of year where my insomnia starts to kick in. I don't know exactly what to contribute it to. Maybe it's the seasons changing, maybe it's because the days get shorter and nights get longer, maybe it's because I'm alone. Whatever it's from, it is happening. I read by flashlight until I pass out. I stare at the ceiling, looking for answers to questions I'm not sure of. I see how long I can hold my breath or scroll through old text messages.

Anyway, it got me thinking about guys. And how I make it impossible for them to please me. Before I get up the guts to talk to a guy, I put all of these qualities on him he probably doesn't have. I convince myself he'll be witty and wise, we'll like the same shows and bands, we'll probably go out to coffee on our first date, he'll laugh at all my jokes and kiss me like this, look at me like that, carefully brush hair away from my face. I create this perfect little person that I try to project onto them and they can never live up to it. So the relationship is doomed from the start. I'm bound to be disappointed. And with each new person I think, yeah, this is it. This one will be it.

"They snuck out for a cigarette/She said, 'maybe it's the whiskey sours, but I think this could be it./ If you ask me here and now/I think, no, I know/ I can make those wedding vows/ We could sneak off in the night/ And I could be the bride."

Anyway, I need a shower.