Not even half way into my Junior year, I've realized that I'm starting to get over the college scene. I love the learning, I love improving my writing, I love the friends I've met, and I love the person I'm finding while I'm here. HOWEVER... I cannot, cannot, cannot deal with the party/drinking/hookup scene any more. This is all being sparked after finding myself completely bored and slightly disgusted while at a party I left no less than ten minutes ago. Granted, I was not drinking, but I think the clearer state of mind attributes positively to this epiphany, if you will.
I went to the heights with my roommate Kristen. For those of you who do not know, the heights are basically on-campus 8 person apartments, just without a kitchen. A group of our friends were throwing a party and at first I was excited to go. But once I got there, I realized how much I didn't want to be there. A pong table made out of ply wood and chairs was pushed to one side of the "common room" with a ratty sign up sheet hanging up on the opposite wall. The only lights were a half blown out strand of Christmas lights and one black light. They had a decent enough stereo system that played outdated rap music to which every drunk girl would say "ohmuhgod, i LOVE this song!" and would start to dance on top of their friends. These girls were mainly freshman. Not that it's a bad thing, but I feel that freshman girls are crazier than their older counterparts just because they're trying to fit in a new place.
As these freshmen girls are dancing, red, frosty Solos in hand, I notice their eyes. Ever see "Bring It On" where the cheerleaders have eye sex with certain guys in the stand, or whatever that thing is? Well, that was basically it. And the guys they were staring at were just as guilty, returning the glances with coy smiles. The point of the night was to get as drunk as possible (without being completely tragic) and randomly hook up with someone.
One girl shoved by me holding her boyfriends hand, turns to him and says, "I'm getting fucking WASTED tonight!"
Now, I'm not trying to sit on my cloud of judgement, looking down on everyone, and talk about how stupid these people are. Lord knows I've had to the goal to get as drunk as possible, dress up for the possibilty of a random kiss, and announced to the world that I am SO DRUNK. But through non-hazey eyes, watching these other people and seeing myself in them, I had to think.
Maybe it was just the lameness of the party in comparison to other ones I have been to. Maybe it was feeling a little out of place because I wasn't as drunk. Maybe it was my own little insecurities getting the best of me. I thought about all of these things until...
I see people laughing, I see people sipping their drinks, I see a girl bending over to pick up a beer pong ball, I see guys watching the girl bending over to pick up a beer pong ball, and I hear the songs switch. Solja Boi is the next song on the playlist, sparking a group "OHHH!!!" It literally makes me jump. Then in unison everyone starts doing the dance. The Solja Boi dance we all thought was the greatest thing... last year... when the song was still on the radio every thirty minutes. As I'm observing the guys doing the dance banging shoulders into each other, the girls forming neat lines doing the dance with more hip than necessary, and my roommate's boyfriend banging into me on purpose, I made the decision that I was over this and I had to leave.
It probably just wasn't my scene and I will probably go to the next party (not at that place) and I will probably have more fun with my own friends. But as I was walking back to my room I couldn't help but think, damn, that was an eye opener. There were so many things I would rather be doing than watching people dance, sing songs, chat, do whatever. Sober or not. The entire night just reminded me of instant gratification. Get dressed, get a compliment. Get a drink, get drunk, get happy. Find drunken state, lose inhibitions, get laid. Maybe I am being a bit of a party pooper, but that's how I feel.
The title is one of the slower, and in my opinion, better songs by Brand New. A band that has been around since forever, but I've gotten really into last year. The lines from the song that suit this writing the best would have to be:
"You can sin, or spend the night all alone"
Take whatever you want from this. I'm going to get in bed and watch a movie or read a book. All I'm missing is a cat.
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